Another stream of consciousness writing. About two months ago God began to give me a new perspective on the trauma I had experienced and his presence with me in those hurtful times. This healing has, in my opinion, been long overdue but I think God knew when I would be ready to dig into the darker parts of my soul. I hope if you've gone through difficult things you are pressing into God to speak to them rather than hiding from him in fear and pain.
Whelp, here is another post of my brain dump. Just a reminder that I'm intentionally not editing these so any spelling errors, confusing sentences, and offensive language is just an honest look at how my brain processes information. I struggled a lot with this one because it does have strong language in it which may offend, especially in a post about following Jesus, but as I started deleting it I felt I was pretending which, once you read this post you will understand, felt very hypocritical. I hope you can work through your offense and see the greater message. Offense isn't the goal but sometimes change requires being offended. So with that... I call this one, "Follow Jesus....?"
I've starting trying to write something everyday. A verse, a line, a poem, a thought, ANYTHING will do. I sit down and just go. I try not to think, try not to worry about sentence structure or rythm and just keep writing. Sometimes its nice, sometimes it angry, sometimes its even a bit crude, but I found that it's honest. Then every once in a while its something I really like and want to share. This is one of those. Enjoy!
First, let me say thank you for being so gracious as I took the day off on Thursday. I received a lot of little encouragements from you and it reminded me that as a blogger and someone who people count on to produce content, even if it’s only a few people, that it’s ok to admit we can’t do things. I had a pretty serious breakdown on Tuesday night that left me drained. I won’t go into all the details but generally I had reached my limit of doing and was empty. Thank God for a loving wife who is understanding when I start to unravel and gently encourages me back together.